reignfall: (20)
𝔠𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔢𝔦 𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯. ([personal profile] reignfall) wrote2021-09-19 07:09 pm

𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔟𝔬𝔯𝔫𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔦𝔤𝔫.

In spite of all her terrible fears, it really does seem as though it was naught but the common fever, which had struck her young son. Joffrey Zarek had never known a day's suffering, however, not a lack of rest nor a hint of true hunger, and though he is but few turns away from his third nameday, encroaching upon them in the second month of the year, the disease passed by him quickly. It is the fourth day now, and his appetite was ferocious when she had broken her fast with him on honeyed bread and fruit, he was eagerly chasing a cat he had spotted right thereafter, and only during their walk in the open air did any sort of fatigue catch him. Awake he remained for the waterfalls and his spotting of a large bird of prey, though he was solidly asleep in her arms soon enough on their way back. Before she set him down in his bed, she felt his forehead for the umpteenth time, but it is as the healer had assured her: he is well once more, even the cough is gone.

Relieved, she leaves the boy to his afternoon nap, and goes again to find her husband. Gone had he been in the earliest hours of morning, as was his usual way, though it is strange that he not even been present to ignore her request to join her and their son for their morning meal, nor has she seen hide nor hair of him since.

She finds him in his study, in the end, and it does not take more than a look for her to know what has befallen him. There is a glaze to his otherwise so sharp eyes, a pallor to his skin, dark rings beneath his eyes. The lips dry and cracked, his breath the lightest rasp. "My emperor." She inclines her head, though she is trying fast to suppress a hint of mirth. "If you would excuse me for another moment?"
borntoreign: (A constant war)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-09-26 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
The truth is that an assassination always feels likely to him - which is, of course, why it is as unlikely as it is. Why he supervises the trading of spices with an eagle eye, why he is so careful to keep his food and drink secure, and even why he chooses a drink which, being boiled, is that little bit harder to poison.

But it is hard, not impossible. Never impossible.

He nods again, grimly reluctant, and takes a moment more to steady himself, to resolve the smeared and unfocused room into a single image, before he moves to offer her his arm. "Honey will do him good, as well. It can help to fight infection." He himself will not take it. Honey is a good and healthful thing, but it is also far too easy to adulterate.

His unsteadiness will be noticeable when she takes his arm, as will the fever still baking from him. The dizziness has not passed as quickly as he had hoped; he still feels light-headed and out-of-sorts, and under his heavy furs, he can feel how the sweat runs more readily than ever.
borntoreign: (Difficulties cannot be great)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-09-27 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
If he is a little unsteady on his feet, if he must put out his free hand once or twice to catch himself against the wall of the stairwell, then he trusts that his thunderous expression is hint enough to her not to mention it. He is aware. Damn him, but he is aware.

The cold air outside hits him like a hammer-blow, and it is at once refreshing and dizzying; he can feel his head spinning, his vision swimming anew as the cool mountain breeze sweeps against his sweat-sheened face. He does not cling to her arm, and there is no more of his weight on her than is proper, and if she thinks otherwise, then that must be her mistake. He pulls his coat closer about himself, grimacing.

"Good," he allows, after a moment. Yes. She will gather the sage, and he will watch her like a hawk, and there is no weakness in that; what is the point of having a wife, if she does not sometimes do the smaller tasks? And he must confess, if only in the privacy of his own mind, that if he bends down to pick herbs, he may not be able to get back up without losing his balance entirely.
borntoreign: (A fiercer vitality)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-10-02 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
Despite himself, and despite his annoyance at the fact, he appreciates the care she takes to prove her innocence. He resents, of course, that she feels the need to - that she continues to patronise him this way, to act such a mummery of care - and there is an element of suspicion in just how careful she is to be unthreatening, as though she might be building her own alibi. But at the same time, she is wiser than that, he thinks. She knows, still, that her safety is contingent on his. He does not trust her, by any means - but, at the very least, she is obliged to be careful if she should try to sicken him. (It has occurred to him, of course, that for him to be sick is ideal for her; to watch him suffer, and yet not lose his protection by killing him. But she is more ambitious than that, and he wins them nothing when he is ailing.)

He does not protest, then, when she takes his arm again. He will drink her tea, and he will keep a very, very close eye on what becomes of his health after that - but he does not think, as yet, that she means to poison him.

"It is rare, and it will be brief." It must be brief. If his hands are absent from the reins more than a moment...

It is not the things that will fly out of control that he fears. It is the ones that will not. It is that the empire will continue, and after a week or two, people will begin to question whether such an empire could not be run by any other man.

He shakes his head, gritting his teeth. "It is rare," he repeats, again. "I see to it."
borntoreign: (Building on people is building on mud)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-10-03 05:47 pm (UTC)(link)
"Alliances are fickle." It is not, perhaps, the best thing to say. It shows his hand too much, is too close to the truth of what he fears. She is right: he should not write letters now. Sky and stone only know what he might let slip, in this careless state.

Still, it is true. Alliances are only as strong as the power that holds them in place. He will not trust her, not now, not ever. And there is another fear, too: that if he lets her show him care, then she may grow too used to that vulnerability; that she may enjoy his weakness, and seek to extend it, for how it makes him depend upon her. She is an emotional creature, after all, and a jealous one: it is something she has never hidden. To give her an access to him that no others have ever enjoyed - beyond the simple fact of marriage, already something that at times makes her too bold - is a dangerous encouragement.

He sighs, and does his best to lean on her a little less, although his vision still swims and his body feels oddly distant. "I am reluctant," he says, a little more carefully, "to allow a cold to have any power over how I carry myself. I have survived worse things, and will do so again." And I will not be an invalid. I will not languish in my chambers while the empire is carved out from under me. "You may have this afternoon, if it will stop you nagging. No more than that."
borntoreign: (Men do not forget old injuries)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-10-09 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
He follows her to Joffrey's nursery, despite the light-headedness that cries out for good sense to take him direct to bed; he will not give it mastery over him. Instead, he lingers in the nursery doorway, leaning against the dark wood of the doorframe in a way that might be mistaken for casual at a passing glance, if one ignores the grey-white pallor and the visible slick of sweat on his brow. He watches her check on the boy, but his eyes keep drifting upwards, to the painting that hangs on the wall; to his parents, immortalised in hale good health, as though such things were ever guaranteed. It is the fever, no doubt, that makes him imagine that his father's lips curl into a smirk beneath the red of his painted moustache; that makes him think that the old king's eyes gleam with malign amusement. You are no stronger than I was, boy. You will die in your bed, too.

He blinks sharply, and shakes his head, letting out a low hiss of irritation as he pulls away from the doorframe and turns back towards his own chambers, to settle himself among the furs of his bedding and watch with fever-bright eyes as Cersei returns and begins on the tea. He is not mad. He is not dying, he is not ailing, he has a cold. Only a cold.

Sky and stone, let it be only a cold.

He props himself against the bedstead, mindful as always of appearances - it will not be obvious, even to her, how he needs to lean against the wood to resist the urge to lie down - and toes off his boots, kicking them aside. "You need not think I will fuss over you this way, if it should be so," he grumbles, and pulls a heavy sheepskin cover up around his shoulders. In truth, he is surprised to find that he does not wish her to fall ill, not even in vengeance for the satisfaction she may be taking in his weakness. There is too much sickness already.
borntoreign: (The end which every man has)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-10-22 10:31 pm (UTC)(link)
There is something glassy in the look he fixes her with, something behind it that burns with more than fever. He narrows his eyes, and considers that gleam in the painting's eyes. Feverish paranoia. Nothing more. And yet...

"I will take it down." It is not a considered decision, which is unusual for him; and yet, as soon as he says it, he is aware that it is just as obvious as the last thing he said, just as sensible as anything he does. Paranoia should be listened to, when there is no cost.

And perhaps there is a part - a small part, unworthy of consideration - that dislikes the idea of his son being pinned by that painted gaze. Perhaps there is still, in his hardened heart, the smallest kernel of superstition which wonders whether, in Joffrey's dreams, there is a glint of silver in rotted flesh, and the bleeding lips drawn back from teeth blackened by mercury. Perhaps, unthinkable as is it, there may be some mercy in him after all, because the idea that his child should face that is curiously apalling.

(No. That, at least, is the fever.)

"I will take it down," he repeats, more certainly still. "Thirty years have passed, and he was a bad king. And Queen Mirella has been dead almost forty. There is no reason it should hang there."
borntoreign: (He who wishes to be obeyed)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-10-31 06:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Casimir grunts - which may be an acceptance of what she says, or even an appreciation of it - and settles himself back against the pillows, watching her closely as she drinks. Her expression of distaste is reassuring. The fact that she drinks it at all, more so. He does not suspect her, not truly - but he should.

Which is rather the point.

"If he is modelling himself after me, then it is as well to teach him early to listen to that nagging sense, when it comes." He wants, very much, to close his eyes. Perhaps it is because he is in his bed that his ever-present weariness abruptly feels so crushing, that it becomes an effort to hold himself up. "Better to act when there is no danger than fail to act when there is, after all."
borntoreign: (Reborn and renewed)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-11-07 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
There is a resentment in him, still, at even this small show of care - at the suggestion, the fact, that he might need it. Even so, he reaches for the cup, and even so, there is a certain comfort in the heat of it; it shows in the way that he wraps both his shaking hands around the mug, as though to draw the warmth into himself, although it scalds his fingers. His jaw is tight, aching as though he must fight to keep his teeth from chattering. He knows, if he is honest with himself, that he is not cold - but it is easiest to think of it as being cold, and not to acknowledge the sweat on his brow or the heat that must still bake from him. It is easier, still, to say to himself that he is not sick.

His eyes follow her mistrustfully as she sits. How many times has she sat there, or lain closer? And yet, weakened as he is (a little, only a little!), he cannot help but tense at her returned closeness.

"I will take honey." He makes it offhand, as she does, as though it is of no import. Honey is, he has been told since childhood, another cure-all; he has seen it used for wounds and infections both, and for strength and fitness. There is surely no harm in drinking it now - and not for sweetness, or because his throat is aching, but simply because it is a healthful thing to consume.
borntoreign: (There are no more worlds to conquer)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-11-12 07:18 pm (UTC)(link)
He eyes her mistrustfully - and that, too, is more than a little catlike in its barely-veiled sidelong air - as she dribbles honey into his cup. It is not poison he fears, in this moment: he is beyond fearing that, since if she wanted to poison him, it would be altogether too late now to stop her. No, what he fears (resents, not fears, he fears nothing, not even now) is the implication that lies behind her serving him this way, unasked and without coercion, as though she thinks he needs it. As though he is an invalid, a weak and frail thing who cannot pour his own honey.

The fact that it is, in fact, true - that he would probably spill his tea if he shifted it to only one hand in order to manage the honey - does not help matters. Again, he cannot help but think of his father, shaking and palsied. Will you cut up my meat for me, too, as they did for him? Wipe the spilled wine and clean up the shit? It is the first time that it has occurred to him that she might, if only for a little while before she saw her chance to drive in the knife. This is, unaccountably, more frightening than the thought that she would leave him to fester alone.

It is only honey. It is the fever, that is all, that makes him drown so quickly in bleak and childish thoughts. In the end, it is only honey, and she is playing the part of the dutiful wife, because she knows that he will recover. If she knew he would not, she would not be so cloyingly attentive. And it is only honey in his tea.

"No more." His voice is razor-edged. He cannot help that. "Be careful. If I must spend an afternoon in bed, I do not intend to do it under furs sticky with honey."

As though she is the one likely to spill anything.
borntoreign: (How we live is not how we ought)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-11-13 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)
"If I meant to cut your tongue out for saying ill-advised and annoying things, you would have lost it years ago." He sounds almost like himself, in that sharp-edged mockery - except that there is an undertone to it that is more audibly raw than usual, a genuine tension that is usually absent or at least disguised. The trouble is that, in the list of ill-advised things for her to say, that last ranks fairly high. The bigger trouble is that he feels so thoroughly drained and unsteady, and it aggravates him. "I am not prone to sicknesses, and I am not prone to allowing nagging women to fuss over them. As I told you, it will pass."

Which is not to say that the tea is not welcome, nor that the honey in it fails to soothe a throat which feels tight and itchy. He takes a long drink, and does not flinch at how it burns his tongue; he is, he realises, very thirsty, and the heat of it seems to almost touch that shivering fever inside him. It does not taste good, but on the other hand, with his nose as stuffed up as it is, he can hardly taste it anyway.
borntoreign: (Everyone sees who you appear to be)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-11-21 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
He lets out a sharp, scornful huff at that, his distaste curling his lip. "As well call the vultures to pick at my bones," he mutters, and takes another long drink of tea. It would seem strange to some, no doubt, that he finds her tea safer than a healer's - but he has more faith that she understands the dangers in poisoning him, and a wife cannot simply shrug and move on if her patient dies.

Besides, he has committed to this course of action now, and indecision is almost as fatal as trust.

His eyes follow her as she sets down the carafe, and he marks its position, even if he does not drink yet. He will. He is not stubborn enough to let so small an obedience dissuade him from slaking a thirst that is undeniably uncomfortable, and he knows as well as she does, in truth, that it is the best thing he can do for himself now. Still, he will finish his tea first. One fuss at a time.
borntoreign: (Follow in the path of great men)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-11-28 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
"I have never yet seen you take an easy road." It is an admission, even if it is delivered in the tone of a scathing insult - a grudging acknowledgement that she has a point. That is more than he usually gives, but he will not think too much about that. Instead, he just settles back against the bedstead, raising the cup to his lips again. "And it is not my temptations that would concern me. Historically, you are the one who seems to struggle with resisting them."

It occurs to him, too, how unusual this is. It chafes already, to be lying here when there is work to be done, when the wheels of the world turn on without him. There are never enough hours in the day, even in a full and lively day; to waste them in bed is nigh-unbearable.

And yet he has (just about) sense enough to remember the ash of letters in his study fireplace, and the rising frustration of unsteady calligraphy, and he knows, no matter how he rebels against it, that he has no choice. It is a strange thing, still, to see her lying there as though she also has nothing better to do, as though she intends to watch him suffer. It sets him on edge.

He finishes off his tea in a long swig that burns the roof of his mouth in a not wholly unpleasant way, and reaches for the water carafe.
borntoreign: (When you disarm them you offend them)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-12-05 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
There is a twisted kind of comfort in that glare, which is more as things should be. This is solid ground: he needles her, she rises to the bait, and all is well. He meets her look with one that is almost, if not quite, the steadily unimpressed regard he so often gives her, and raises one eyebrow.

"Is that what you believe?" he echoes her mildly, and if there is a trace of irritability still beneath the light tone, he does not think she is quite stupid enough to remark upon it. Then again, she can be bold, at times. It is one of the things he both enjoys and hates about her. "Interesting."

Temptation is, of course, a relative matter. Is it a temptation to take what is beneficial? To claim advantage when it is offered? He does not consider himself prone to temptations which are not to his advantage. He does not, for example, let himself be tempted into sentimentality.

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