reignfall: (20)
𝔠𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔢𝔦 𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯. ([personal profile] reignfall) wrote2021-09-19 07:09 pm

𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔟𝔬𝔯𝔫𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔦𝔤𝔫.

In spite of all her terrible fears, it really does seem as though it was naught but the common fever, which had struck her young son. Joffrey Zarek had never known a day's suffering, however, not a lack of rest nor a hint of true hunger, and though he is but few turns away from his third nameday, encroaching upon them in the second month of the year, the disease passed by him quickly. It is the fourth day now, and his appetite was ferocious when she had broken her fast with him on honeyed bread and fruit, he was eagerly chasing a cat he had spotted right thereafter, and only during their walk in the open air did any sort of fatigue catch him. Awake he remained for the waterfalls and his spotting of a large bird of prey, though he was solidly asleep in her arms soon enough on their way back. Before she set him down in his bed, she felt his forehead for the umpteenth time, but it is as the healer had assured her: he is well once more, even the cough is gone.

Relieved, she leaves the boy to his afternoon nap, and goes again to find her husband. Gone had he been in the earliest hours of morning, as was his usual way, though it is strange that he not even been present to ignore her request to join her and their son for their morning meal, nor has she seen hide nor hair of him since.

She finds him in his study, in the end, and it does not take more than a look for her to know what has befallen him. There is a glaze to his otherwise so sharp eyes, a pallor to his skin, dark rings beneath his eyes. The lips dry and cracked, his breath the lightest rasp. "My emperor." She inclines her head, though she is trying fast to suppress a hint of mirth. "If you would excuse me for another moment?"
borntoreign: (Anticipate evils ere they arise)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-09-19 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Her emperor is in a bad mood. He has had a headache since he awoke, throbbing behind his temples and under his eyes; and the cold keeps catching him, despite the fire blazing in the grate and the fur coat draped around his shoulders. He would build the fire up again, but there is already too much smoke in the air, itching at his eyes and scratching in his throat, making him cough. It is that, perhaps, that is making it so hard to focus: he has been sitting at this desk for a solid three hours already, poring over the same letter from his steward in Asan, unable to unpick the solution to the problems of rebellion it outlines. His headache keeps getting worse as a result, and the words swim before him, and he curses and balls up another drafted reply, throwing the birch-bark parchment into the fire as he turns to meet the intrusion of his wife.

"I am working," he snaps at her, impatient, and reaches for his teapot, only to find it empty. The spices have not been doing their work today; he feels neither strengthened nor invigorated by his tea. "What is it? Is the boy worse?"
borntoreign: (Be made to suffer)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-09-20 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
He will not admit it aloud, but he is relieved, too. Children can be sickly, and while he is resigned to the fact that there will come a time where only one of he and Joffrey may live, he is not in undue haste to see that time arrive. Besides, his son will not die of something so ignominious. It would be embarrassing for all of them, and unsettle what stability an heir does offer.

Any of that relief he might show, however, is quickly wiped away by his irritation as she continues. When you feel better? He is, perhaps, a little under the weather; he is tired, and his body aches, but he is not some wretched invalid. He will not allow it any purchase, will not moan and shirk his work because of a sore throat. Nor will he accept her fussing over him, as though he is her child, and must be coddled and chided. She is too soft with Joffrey, as it is, and Joffrey is still a child: he will not accept any part of that aimed towards himself.

When she reaches out, then, he grabs her wrist - slower, perhaps, than is usual for him, but that means nothing; it only means that he is tired, which he already knew - and knocks her hand aside, his lip curling. "If I feel warm, it is because this room is more heated than the others." Even if it feels cold. He is aware of the contradiction, but he will not acknowledge it. He does not have a fever, because he will not allow himself to; and if he did have a fever, he would not proclaim it out loud for anyone who wished to hear. He is tired - but not, it must be added, so tired that he cannot defend himself; not so tired that he will be made weak by it. He is having a bad day, that is all. If he lets it be anything more than that, what will it achieve, but encouraging that doubt to linger? "Do not presume to tell me what I need to do."
borntoreign: (Fickle hypocritical and greedy of gain)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-09-20 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
He grunts, his lips pressed warningly taut in anger. She is too complacent, of late; she has the nerve to think that she can tell him what to do, shepherd him this way and that like a fussing nursemaid? No. No, she will have to be reminded who is Emperor.

Another time. When his neck is not so stiff, and his fingers feel less clumsy.

"If I spent every hour with you that you ask, the empire would slip through my fingers like water." He knows that is not what she means, but he will not acknowledge what she means. He does not need sage tea and bed rest, leeches and silver cups, quicksilver and nitre salts. He is not a sick man. He is clean, and fit, and careful; he eats well, abstains from the things that make men ill, and keeps himself active; and most of all, he is the master of his own body and mind, and he will not suffer them to betray him. "Go and find someone else to fuck, Cersei. I have work to do."
borntoreign: (Happy today and ruined tomorrow)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-09-21 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
He surges to his feet at that, hand raised to slap her, his patience reaching its frayed end. Let her see whether she can say he is not at his fullest strength when her lip splits against her teeth, let her tell him to come to her senses when she is reeling herself.

Unfortunately, he has miscalculated. He knows it as soon as he stands, and all the air seems to leave his lungs, the room swimming before his eyes. The hand raised to slap her is, instead, required to grip the corner of his desk, to hold himself upright lest his suddenly weak knees be knocked out from under him. He sways, finds some semblance of balance, and squints at her, raising a finger warningly in the direction of the golden smear that she has momentarily become.

"I have a cold. That is all. It will pass on its own."
borntoreign: (Men do not forget old injuries)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-09-21 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
"Don't," he snaps, his voice sharper than the knife which, for a miracle, he has not yet tried to draw, "patronise me."

She is right. He hates, with all his heart and soul, that she is right. He blinks rapidly, trying to clear the blurring from his vision, and lets out a long, slow huff of breath. She does not believe for a moment that he will recover, and she is not a good liar, and neither of those is a particularly appealing thing to hear in her voice. But she is, unfortunately, right in the central matter: he is sick. Something has slipped past his defences, and he is sick. Last time he was this unsteady on his feet, there was an arrowhead lodged in his thigh.

Your usual tea. That sticks with him, and he glares balefully at the empty teapot, gleaming in the blazing firelight. Is it possible that...

"Fresh air." He presses his lips together, his teeth grinding at the back of his mouth, and nods. "Yes. We will go to the garden, and pick sage ourselves." Where he will know, for absolute certain, what it is he is drinking.
borntoreign: (A constant war)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-09-26 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
The truth is that an assassination always feels likely to him - which is, of course, why it is as unlikely as it is. Why he supervises the trading of spices with an eagle eye, why he is so careful to keep his food and drink secure, and even why he chooses a drink which, being boiled, is that little bit harder to poison.

But it is hard, not impossible. Never impossible.

He nods again, grimly reluctant, and takes a moment more to steady himself, to resolve the smeared and unfocused room into a single image, before he moves to offer her his arm. "Honey will do him good, as well. It can help to fight infection." He himself will not take it. Honey is a good and healthful thing, but it is also far too easy to adulterate.

His unsteadiness will be noticeable when she takes his arm, as will the fever still baking from him. The dizziness has not passed as quickly as he had hoped; he still feels light-headed and out-of-sorts, and under his heavy furs, he can feel how the sweat runs more readily than ever.
borntoreign: (Difficulties cannot be great)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-09-27 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
If he is a little unsteady on his feet, if he must put out his free hand once or twice to catch himself against the wall of the stairwell, then he trusts that his thunderous expression is hint enough to her not to mention it. He is aware. Damn him, but he is aware.

The cold air outside hits him like a hammer-blow, and it is at once refreshing and dizzying; he can feel his head spinning, his vision swimming anew as the cool mountain breeze sweeps against his sweat-sheened face. He does not cling to her arm, and there is no more of his weight on her than is proper, and if she thinks otherwise, then that must be her mistake. He pulls his coat closer about himself, grimacing.

"Good," he allows, after a moment. Yes. She will gather the sage, and he will watch her like a hawk, and there is no weakness in that; what is the point of having a wife, if she does not sometimes do the smaller tasks? And he must confess, if only in the privacy of his own mind, that if he bends down to pick herbs, he may not be able to get back up without losing his balance entirely.
borntoreign: (A fiercer vitality)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-10-02 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
Despite himself, and despite his annoyance at the fact, he appreciates the care she takes to prove her innocence. He resents, of course, that she feels the need to - that she continues to patronise him this way, to act such a mummery of care - and there is an element of suspicion in just how careful she is to be unthreatening, as though she might be building her own alibi. But at the same time, she is wiser than that, he thinks. She knows, still, that her safety is contingent on his. He does not trust her, by any means - but, at the very least, she is obliged to be careful if she should try to sicken him. (It has occurred to him, of course, that for him to be sick is ideal for her; to watch him suffer, and yet not lose his protection by killing him. But she is more ambitious than that, and he wins them nothing when he is ailing.)

He does not protest, then, when she takes his arm again. He will drink her tea, and he will keep a very, very close eye on what becomes of his health after that - but he does not think, as yet, that she means to poison him.

"It is rare, and it will be brief." It must be brief. If his hands are absent from the reins more than a moment...

It is not the things that will fly out of control that he fears. It is the ones that will not. It is that the empire will continue, and after a week or two, people will begin to question whether such an empire could not be run by any other man.

He shakes his head, gritting his teeth. "It is rare," he repeats, again. "I see to it."
borntoreign: (Building on people is building on mud)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-10-03 05:47 pm (UTC)(link)
"Alliances are fickle." It is not, perhaps, the best thing to say. It shows his hand too much, is too close to the truth of what he fears. She is right: he should not write letters now. Sky and stone only know what he might let slip, in this careless state.

Still, it is true. Alliances are only as strong as the power that holds them in place. He will not trust her, not now, not ever. And there is another fear, too: that if he lets her show him care, then she may grow too used to that vulnerability; that she may enjoy his weakness, and seek to extend it, for how it makes him depend upon her. She is an emotional creature, after all, and a jealous one: it is something she has never hidden. To give her an access to him that no others have ever enjoyed - beyond the simple fact of marriage, already something that at times makes her too bold - is a dangerous encouragement.

He sighs, and does his best to lean on her a little less, although his vision still swims and his body feels oddly distant. "I am reluctant," he says, a little more carefully, "to allow a cold to have any power over how I carry myself. I have survived worse things, and will do so again." And I will not be an invalid. I will not languish in my chambers while the empire is carved out from under me. "You may have this afternoon, if it will stop you nagging. No more than that."
borntoreign: (Men do not forget old injuries)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-10-09 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
He follows her to Joffrey's nursery, despite the light-headedness that cries out for good sense to take him direct to bed; he will not give it mastery over him. Instead, he lingers in the nursery doorway, leaning against the dark wood of the doorframe in a way that might be mistaken for casual at a passing glance, if one ignores the grey-white pallor and the visible slick of sweat on his brow. He watches her check on the boy, but his eyes keep drifting upwards, to the painting that hangs on the wall; to his parents, immortalised in hale good health, as though such things were ever guaranteed. It is the fever, no doubt, that makes him imagine that his father's lips curl into a smirk beneath the red of his painted moustache; that makes him think that the old king's eyes gleam with malign amusement. You are no stronger than I was, boy. You will die in your bed, too.

He blinks sharply, and shakes his head, letting out a low hiss of irritation as he pulls away from the doorframe and turns back towards his own chambers, to settle himself among the furs of his bedding and watch with fever-bright eyes as Cersei returns and begins on the tea. He is not mad. He is not dying, he is not ailing, he has a cold. Only a cold.

Sky and stone, let it be only a cold.

He props himself against the bedstead, mindful as always of appearances - it will not be obvious, even to her, how he needs to lean against the wood to resist the urge to lie down - and toes off his boots, kicking them aside. "You need not think I will fuss over you this way, if it should be so," he grumbles, and pulls a heavy sheepskin cover up around his shoulders. In truth, he is surprised to find that he does not wish her to fall ill, not even in vengeance for the satisfaction she may be taking in his weakness. There is too much sickness already.
borntoreign: (The end which every man has)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-10-22 10:31 pm (UTC)(link)
There is something glassy in the look he fixes her with, something behind it that burns with more than fever. He narrows his eyes, and considers that gleam in the painting's eyes. Feverish paranoia. Nothing more. And yet...

"I will take it down." It is not a considered decision, which is unusual for him; and yet, as soon as he says it, he is aware that it is just as obvious as the last thing he said, just as sensible as anything he does. Paranoia should be listened to, when there is no cost.

And perhaps there is a part - a small part, unworthy of consideration - that dislikes the idea of his son being pinned by that painted gaze. Perhaps there is still, in his hardened heart, the smallest kernel of superstition which wonders whether, in Joffrey's dreams, there is a glint of silver in rotted flesh, and the bleeding lips drawn back from teeth blackened by mercury. Perhaps, unthinkable as is it, there may be some mercy in him after all, because the idea that his child should face that is curiously apalling.

(No. That, at least, is the fever.)

"I will take it down," he repeats, more certainly still. "Thirty years have passed, and he was a bad king. And Queen Mirella has been dead almost forty. There is no reason it should hang there."
borntoreign: (He who wishes to be obeyed)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-10-31 06:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Casimir grunts - which may be an acceptance of what she says, or even an appreciation of it - and settles himself back against the pillows, watching her closely as she drinks. Her expression of distaste is reassuring. The fact that she drinks it at all, more so. He does not suspect her, not truly - but he should.

Which is rather the point.

"If he is modelling himself after me, then it is as well to teach him early to listen to that nagging sense, when it comes." He wants, very much, to close his eyes. Perhaps it is because he is in his bed that his ever-present weariness abruptly feels so crushing, that it becomes an effort to hold himself up. "Better to act when there is no danger than fail to act when there is, after all."
borntoreign: (Reborn and renewed)

[personal profile] borntoreign 2021-11-07 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
There is a resentment in him, still, at even this small show of care - at the suggestion, the fact, that he might need it. Even so, he reaches for the cup, and even so, there is a certain comfort in the heat of it; it shows in the way that he wraps both his shaking hands around the mug, as though to draw the warmth into himself, although it scalds his fingers. His jaw is tight, aching as though he must fight to keep his teeth from chattering. He knows, if he is honest with himself, that he is not cold - but it is easiest to think of it as being cold, and not to acknowledge the sweat on his brow or the heat that must still bake from him. It is easier, still, to say to himself that he is not sick.

His eyes follow her mistrustfully as she sits. How many times has she sat there, or lain closer? And yet, weakened as he is (a little, only a little!), he cannot help but tense at her returned closeness.

"I will take honey." He makes it offhand, as she does, as though it is of no import. Honey is, he has been told since childhood, another cure-all; he has seen it used for wounds and infections both, and for strength and fitness. There is surely no harm in drinking it now - and not for sweetness, or because his throat is aching, but simply because it is a healthful thing to consume.

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