[Having Sirius be uncomplicatedly, unabashedly his brother had been an experience. One which brings into sharp relief just how much Regulus has to take care around him in reality, and how much is still uncertain between them.]
And somewhat jarring, to have a mind full of things that aren't mine. It was a very different kind of life to anything I have known, either in Ryslig or before.
To be honest, that's what made me think of you. I can't imagine it was familiar to your experiences, either.
I must confess, it was not unpleasant to understand all the rules of the world surrounding me again. Celeste may have been vapid, but she had her place in this world. She understood it.
⟪ In a way, this is all that much worse now: the might-have-beens were given form, and not an achievable one. ⟫
[He doesn't respond for a moment. He's thought about it a lot, but now he's thinking about it again - and thinking it to himself is very different to saying it to someone else, even privately.]
I think there are parts that I will miss. I never had the chance to finish school in my own world, for example. And it may be shallow, but I did miss living comfortably in terms of finance.
Why school, of all things? I found no pleasure in being herded in with every other person my own age to be taught by someone so far below my station.
⟪ No, best to denounce as much of the experience as possible. She would rather not be the only one to admit that life had been much, much simpler for Celeste, perhaps even in ways she found pleasurable. This is a weakness that can be shared, at best, but should not exist as a solitary confession. ⟫
All told, I could well use a return to a world in which I am not treated as half a child.
It has been a long time since I was able to just sit and learn things, I suppose. You might laugh at me for this, but I always rather enjoyed school - even if it can, quite often, be pitched rather lower than I'd care for.
And I died before I could finish my exams, besides. There was something rather reassuring, in this new version of things, in knowing that at least one version of myself didn't waste all his education by simply not finishing it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
<QueenRegnant>
I reckon I am well, considering. Everything is as it was before. A little lonelier, perhaps.
What of you?
<TruthSeeker>
[Having Sirius be uncomplicatedly, unabashedly his brother had been an experience. One which brings into sharp relief just how much Regulus has to take care around him in reality, and how much is still uncertain between them.]
And somewhat jarring, to have a mind full of things that aren't mine. It was a very different kind of life to anything I have known, either in Ryslig or before.
To be honest, that's what made me think of you. I can't imagine it was familiar to your experiences, either.
<QueenRegnant>
⟪ In a way, this is all that much worse now: the might-have-beens were given form, and not an achievable one. ⟫
Do you think you will miss it?
<TruthSeeker>
I think there are parts that I will miss. I never had the chance to finish school in my own world, for example. And it may be shallow, but I did miss living comfortably in terms of finance.
But for the most part, no. I don't think I will.
[This is what we in the business call "a lie".]
<QueenRegnant>
⟪ No, best to denounce as much of the experience as possible. She would rather not be the only one to admit that life had been much, much simpler for Celeste, perhaps even in ways she found pleasurable. This is a weakness that can be shared, at best, but should not exist as a solitary confession. ⟫
All told, I could well use a return to a world in which I am not treated as half a child.
<TruthSeeker>
And I died before I could finish my exams, besides. There was something rather reassuring, in this new version of things, in knowing that at least one version of myself didn't waste all his education by simply not finishing it.